In the midst of the noise📢

And when the noise is over, a still small voice you will hear- Travis Green

Am in the library, surrounded by all kinds of people. Everyone is busy looking for at least what I hope is a brighter future and not the place where the WiFi connection is stongest😅Anyways, been here for a while immensely regretting why I enjoyed that December holiday so much. But is it really a holiday of you don’t have at least one regret😉. I had my earphones ( how I wish they were AirPods 😫) blasting loud music when Travis Green’s song Be still came on and that’s when it hit me.

I’ve listened to this song on repeat for a long time but today I really felt it. Especially the words I quoted earlier on ‘ when the noise is over…’ I can’t begin to explain how true this statement is. This simple analogy has seen me through times in my life that I felt as though I was so ready to call it quits and it did that for me once again.

You see, as I sat at that very cold library trying my best to focus on what I was doing, my mind was else where and my heart was heavy. As someone who rarely expresses melancholy 😔, when it hits, it hits so hard and sometimes it takes too long( as long as three months)to find my footing again. Before I digress further, my heart was heavy with emotion. I was beside myself with fear and doubt. It’s like a mild level of anxiety where suddenly you’re wondering what the hell you are doing on earth. Is everything you’re fighting for really worth it? Will it mater in the end? Questions flood your mind and if you are unlucky like me, that betrayer of a tear will escape from where you’re struggling so much to hold it in.😢

Why was I sad? I can’t really point it out. Like I said these are emotions that have built up since the last time I cried back in August 2018 and now they have come full force ready to tear down each wall that I had built so high up, afraid to be broken again. I was coming undone and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But the beauty about God, is that he cares. God’s probably the only one who I feel truly cares because He is there even when nobody else notices🙏.

So this song starts playing and I hear it loud and clear, Be still and know that am God. Man, I felt as though I was bipolar because suddenly my spirit was lifted and I could conquer the world again. It hit me that the noise doesn’t even have to be over because, in the midst of all that noise, there’s always going to be a still small voice that will be like a straw of grass that a drowning man clutches on to. Sometimes the voice can be a simple hug from a friend or a distant memory that makes you laugh. But whatever ‘voice’ it takes to get you back up again find it and run with it because sometimes that’s all it takes.🙂

Anyways, I left the library knowing that I’d live to fight again✊🏽